There is a lot written about “balance”. Work-life balance, finding balance, losing balance, pursuing balance . . . it almost makes your eyes glaze over.
Personally, I never connected with the balance metaphor. For one thing, when is the last time you actually lost your balance (excepting yoga class when you are trying to stand on one foot)? I mean, the human body is a miracle of being in balance. Unless you have some inner-ear infection, then day after day you stand up, walk, run, go up and down stairs and ladders, bend, and climb without losing your balance.
Not so much with work and life.
That perfect precipice – the fulcrum between the needs of your employer and, well, everyone else, is rarely in balance.
I think of it more like juggling. I especially can relate to the plate spinners – you know the jugglers who get ten plates spinning on these 10 foot poles. They run back and forth to the plates that have begun to wobble and give the pole a jiggle to keep it from crashing on the ground. Probably part of it is that they always play the “Sabre Dance” music in the background – which some days I feel is the soundtrack of my life. The plates spin, one starts to wobble – will she get to it? Oh no, there’s another that is slowing down. Whew, she got to the first one, but is the second one going to fall? In the end, the juggler catches all the plates before one crashes to the ground. In real life, I’ve broken a few plates.
We all need to stop and consider how many plates do we have spinning? Is all this running back and forth really worth it? Which plate keeps ending up smashed on the ground? It’s worthwhile to take some time and think about this and make sure our spinning plates align with our priorities.
We all have those good days though – the ones where no plates have fallen. The kids are all in bed asleep by 10 AND the school project is ready for tomorrow. You aced the meeting at work, and you made a kick-ass dinner, and managed to have a conversation with your spouse – beginning, middle, and end! As I fall asleep, I think, “why can’t every day be like today?”
Well, because, it only takes one thing – a sick kid, for example, to have throw us all off balance. Suddenly we are trying to figure out whether Grammy can watch our sick kid or if we can work from home – crap, no, today’s that meeting that we can’t miss, and there are the calls to school, the after school program, and husband so he doesn’t go to pick her up (he *hates* that). The fact is, that normal day to day life is full of these situations, and we are constantly rebalancing.
The truth is that none of us do it alone. We have parents, and friends, and siblings, and bosses who all step in and spin a plate for us when needed. The trick – if there is one – is to build your village. Ensure that you have child care that you love and trust. Having a few understanding friends/parents who trade favors helps. Having a spouse who does at least half – and understands when you forget to tell him that your daughter isn’t at the school today – is a must.
Sometimes, life throws us a curve that is more serious than a sick kid or a business trip There is no bigger curve then serious illness or death of close family or friend. At these times, we have to closely examine our plates and decide if we really can keep them all spinning. That is the decision I had to make as I went through treatment for cancer. One of the first “plates” to go was this blog. I had to put whatever energy I had to my family, job, and, of course, my health. Eventually, I had to also stop spinning the work plate. I am slowly getting my full strength back, and I am going to start posting again as I find the time and the subject matter, so I hope you’ll accept this wobbling plate as I find my new balance.
